


As Long As You Are With Me

by TheManWhoRegrets



Category: Adventures of Tintin (2011), Tintin (Comics), Tintin - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3108074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheManWhoRegrets/pseuds/TheManWhoRegrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to the neurotoxin of a conidae, Allan Thompson got paralysed from face down. Tom decides to take him to his home to be able to care for him. While Tom tries everything to make the best out of the situation, Allan falls more and more to depression because he feels like he is stealing away Tom's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take care, my dear

**Author's Note:**

> For the tiny part of the Tintin fandom who ship Allan and Tom, I write this fanfiction.  
> WARNING: Much Angst ahead!

Chapter One

The _Karaboudjan_ was at anchor on the coasts of Australia, the crew was loading the ship with goods that could be sold expensively in the new world, America. The ship’s first mate was standing at the railing watching his men carrying the boxes on board bringing them to the storage room. “Aye! Ye better be careful. th' goods be probably more worthy than ye be!”, he shouted down with a grumpy face as one of the sailor nearly dropped a box with spices into the water. “Aye, Aye, Sir Allan Thompson, Sir!”, the sailor said lifting the box on the ship more carefully. Allan tugged down his hat, cursing under his breath, pushing his hands into his pockets. Good workers were hard to find thi days, all of them were doing just half as good as his best man did. A man in a turquoise pullover approached from behind, there he was Allan’s best man, Tom. “Aye, boss”, Tom started, his hands crossed on his back, “When will we be settin’ sails?”

 

Without turning around Allan replied: “’S soon ‘s this dirty landblubbers are done fillin’ the ship… But before we leave, I’ll get down that beach and walk a bit. I need t’ clean me face ‘n feet.” Tom shrugged standing next to Allan, imitating his movements, also watching the men work. Wherever Allan was, there was Tom, always ready to get behind him and help him. Tom always paid attention that enough cigarettes were on board for the long trips or otherwise Allan would take out his mood on everyone, and everyone mostly meant Tom. It often happened that Allan stormed into Tom’s cabin and slapped or choked him for obviously no reason until Tom found out, that he was just low on cigarettes. Not that Allan did not find other ways to take out his mood swings on Tom anyway, often he just pushed out his cigarettes on Tom’s arm for the hell of it or used him as a chair table or shelf. Tom did not mind it at all, Allan was just rough to him and he was it for a reason. It was Allan’s way to give Tom attention, to show he cared – in a certain way at least. It happened equally often that Allan would storm into Tom’s cabin to just grab him and kiss him before he stormed out again. Surely Tom preferred this over all the bullying, but he knew it somehow belonged together.

“Take care. I read that th' seven seas around Australia be filled wit' creatures ye rather not want to meet”, Tom simply said, placing a hand on Allan’s shoulder but it was quickly brushed away by the first mate, as he took a step forward. “I be no miserable landblubber, Tom. I can take a blitherin' swim on th' beach without ye ass worrin' fer me”, Allan replied slapping Tom across the face with his hat before placing it back on, keeping his face emotionless, before he left the ship without looking back. Now it was on Tom to watch over the crew loading the ship, though his gaze shifted over the men along the sand, that seemed endless to him, keeping the first mate in his sight. Tom sighed heavily, as Allan got more and more a blurry point far away.

 

Under all this roughness Tom appreciated how close they were under the surface of all the slaps and kicks and insults. Often they fought about nothing, sometimes Tom felt as if Allan just would pick a fight so they had a reason to yell and shout, but since they became more than shipmates, their fights would always end the same way. While Allan leaned back in the fluffy pillows, smoking a cigarette, Tom cleaned up the mess before he tried to cuddle up with Allan and soon they would fall asleep. This relationship was not easy, but Tom did not want to miss it after all. They pretended to be nothing more than just co-workers by day, not because anyone on the ship would mind a gay couple, but because all this ‘sappy romantic mutt’ was not Allan’s how he called it, though they met up at night, starring together at the endless sea, listening to the waves crushing against the ship, for minutes, for hours, not saying a word. Eventually Allan would give Tom a little punch, not a hurtful one, rather playfully. It was his way to say “Now you are allowed to kiss me”, and Tom would lean in, receiving his prize after obeying the whole day. Tom lived for this moments, his whole day surrounded around these sweet secret moments. No matter how annoying, dangerous or rough the days were, this moments were always sweet and soft. Every time they kissed for the first time on that evening, Tom would lean in really carefully, expecting Allan to push him off any second and Allan would teasingly lean back a few times, hovering his lips over Tom’s, ghosting above them, forcing Tom to stretch until he finally allowed their lips to touch, but then Allan placed his hand on Tom’s neck, holding him close, pressing their lips together, swirling their tongues around each other, not always, but sometimes they’d walk to one of the cabins hand in hand for more, on other days they just went back to starring at the sea until they parted for the night. To some the relationship might seem strange or even abusive, but to Tom it was perfect, in all his ways and what should he be bothered by the opinion of those who probably never felt love anyway. Tom knew Allan would never hurt him in a serious or degrading way. When it really came to romantic actions, they were surprisingly soft and understanding, most of the times. Surely, sometimes Allan would take his moods to the bedroom, but even then, Allan rather enjoyed to tease Tom rather than harm him and Tom would lie if he said he did not like it. Allan would always be on Tom’s side as well as Tom always would be on Allan’s side, they did not need to talk this out or swear the sweetest things to each other. It was a silent understanding between both of them.

Tom leaned on the railing, watching the men work. They would probably do everything for money without even asking a single question. They were good men, they did not even complain about Allan’s attitude and constant yelling or maybe they did but not around Allan nor Tom. Well, it would not be a wise idea to complain around Allan anyway. It just would cause more yelling and probably after all he would storm to Tom and wear it out on him. Just a few other boxes needed to be brought on the ship before they could finally go home, maybe have a few days off and then go on another adventure. Tom sometimes dreamed of leaving this whole thing, buying a nice house somewhere and living together with Allan, but he knew that Allan was a man of the sea and Tom accepted it. Home was, where Allan was, at least to Tom. And Allan probably felt more home on the endless sea.

 

 

Suddenly a yell echoed over the shores. It was Allan. It just could be him. Tom did not hesitate a second but immediately rushed down the ship, even knocking over a crew member pushing him into the sea before he ran over the beach. “Allan! ALLAN?!”, Tom screamed in panic, maybe he stumbled or something worse, “ALLAN! Where are the hell you?” But no one was answering his call. “Allan! Please… Answer me!, Tom yelled desperately over the area, but still there was no reply. He kept running and running, not minding the sand in his shoes, not minding the waves swapping against him. Where was Allan? What happened to him? Maybe a coconut fell on his head, it sounded pretty ridiculous, but it was pretty common and could end deadly or with a loss of a few memories. Tom ran even faster, until he finally could the something floating in the flat water from the distance. The dirty crème coloured coat! It was him! It was Allan! He was floating in the water motionlessly, his shoes a few metres away from the water in the sand. Tom speeded up even more, even if he did not thought it was possible, until he finally reached Allan. He was floating face down in the water, no bubbles – a sign of breathing – around. Quickly Tom pulled Allan out of the water, in the sand falling down on his knees next to him, resting his head on Allan’s chest, hearing whether his heart still was beating. He closed his eyes, held his breath. Not a sound. Damn! Not a single sound!

“Help!”, Tom shouted and then yelled even louder, “FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. SOMEONE CALL HELP!” Before he immediately started CPR, pressing hands on Allan’s chest, counting in his head,…. 28 ….29…. 30! And then bowed over to fill Allan’s lungs with air. He wanted to touch Allan’s lips, but not like that. Not. Like. That. He wanted him to kiss back, to nibble and such softly, to feel Allan’s tongue brushing and pressing against Tom’s lips asking for entrance.

“Breathe…. Oh please…. Breathe!”, Tom begged, as tears started flowing down his cheeks, “ Don’t… Don’t do this to me… Don’t leave me. I need you. Allan. ALLAN….” Again Tom pressed his hands desperately down his chest, trying to make Allan’s heart beat again.

“OH GOD, ALLAN!”, Tom cried out, pressing even harder and faster, probably he was breaking Allan’s rips with that, but Allan would forgive him if it saved his life, “No.. Remember the dream we head… You hear me calling? Remember what we wanted!? S.S. Ramona. Just. A. few. More. Jobs. And we could have bought an old ship and make it ours. PLEASE!”

So many things Tom had not said, so many things that he silenced in his mind. What if he could never say them now? No. This thought was too cruel. It just could not be over just like that. Should the last words he heard from Allan really be, that he could take care of himself? This would be a bitter irony, for both of them.

Again and again Tom blew air in the first mate’s lungs, with all the strength he could, his throat even turning sore. His arms ached from the pressing, but he had to go on, he had to try everything.

After what seemed like hours but probably where just a few minutes, Tom saw the orange clothes of the rescue men running down the beach, coming down their way. Finally Tom could allow himself sinking down on Allan’s chest, grabbing the fabric of his lover’s shirt as if his life depended on it, his tears wetting it. “You see, Allan?”, Tom sobbed with a broken voice, “Help is coming. Help is coming for you…. Just… Just hang on, ok?”


	2. Nothing will be the way it was before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allan can't move anymore, but he is alive. The doctor suggests Tom, who pretends to be Allan's husband, to give Allan into the care of a nursing home, because he cannot do the simpelst things, like eating and washing alone anymore, but Tom refuses to do so and wants to take Allan home with him

Chapter Two

“Allan…… Allan….. Allan… Can you hear me?”  
“Mr. Thompson…. Mr. Thompson?”  
Slowly Allan’s eyes fluttered open, but clenched again, as a bright light was shining right into his eyes, he wanted to curse, damn that idiot who was pointing a flashlight right to his eyes, but somehow no sounds came out of his mouth.  
“Breath and Pulse are steady. The pupils are reacting normal… Welcome back, Mr. Thompson.”  
What happened? Where was he? Dots were dancing around his eyes, apart the voices swirling around his head, he heard strange constant beeping noises. Slowly his vision cleared up, he was lying in a bed, with white sheets, starring at a sterile white ceiling, his gaze shifted through the room, machines around him, some attached to his body, with needles, some with patches attached to his chest. An older man in a white coat, holding a clipboard was looking down at him with a polite smile.  
“I am your doctor, Mr. Thompson and you were pretty pretty lucky”, the man said taking a step closer to the bed, “Can you remember anything? No? You stepped on a conidae in the flat water. A conidae is a kind of snail, pretty common here in Australia. A nasty little beast, it shoots a poisonous little needle with a load of neurotoxins that could easily kill a swarm of fishes. It can easily kill a human too…. I not your husband found you immediately and kept you alive. “

Husband? What was he talking about? Allan’s eyes followed the hand, with which the doctor was pointing next to his bed. Allan’s gaze met Tom’s eyes, he was smiling innocently and naïve as always, holding the first mate’s hand softly. Tom. This wasn’t time for that sappy shit. And more over all, they were not married. They were no husbands. What the heck was this doctor talking about? He wanted to shake Tom’s hand off, but his arm was not moving. Not at all.  
“Mister…. Thompson…. Now… we passed the good news”, now the doctor’s smile faded to a serious expression, his head lowering, “You were found early enough to still be alive… but the poison was already spreading in your body…. And…. Paralysed most of your muscels… Mainly everything…. Apart your mimics and your head. I am sorry, Mister Thompson!”  
What a non-sense was this man talking? Paralysed? Him? NO! Allan wanted to jump up and yell at that blithering idiot. Jump. Up. UP. But nothing happened, his eyes nervously wandered from the doctor to Tom and back. He wanted to yell and curse and scream, his lips where moving wildly, but not a sound was coming out, Allan grimaced more and more, his face turning red, but still nothing happened, while the doctor as well as Tom stayed calm. Eventually Allan calmed down, pressing his head in the pillows.

“I know…. These are tough news and I am not sure whether you are aware of all the consequences. None of your limbs will ever move again. You’ll require from now on permanent medical attendance and support in your everyday life. Eating, washing, your sanitary needs, everything”, the doctor explained and Allan was gasping more and more with every word of him. No. No… That could not be true, this had to be a terrible nightmare, a sick joke, but the more the doctor talked, the more Allan realised, it was an awkward truth.  
“Since you have no other known relatives, and your husband is a sailor…. We suggest you to search a special-care home near your partner’s homeport. The medical support today is really advanced and you’ll be constant taken care of… But we are aware that you might want to discuss that with your partner. I will give you a few moments.” Slowly the doctor was leaving the room and immediately as the door as shut, Tom let Allan’s hand go. Why did he do that? How long was Allan away? Many questions were in the first mate’s head, but he could not ask them.   
For minutes Tom said nothing, just starred at Allan blankly, as if he expected him to slap him or punch him or whatever, but nothing happened. Finally Tom sighed, lowering his head: “I am sorry. Of course… We are not married. I know, yer married to the sea, and she’s a moody lass.” Tom chuckled sadly. “I just tried to make a joke… I know, you don’t like that sappy shit and love is not forever anyway and yes… I know all this discussion…” No, Tom, no. Allan never meant… He never wanted… What wanted to say was. Oh. What Allan actually meant, was that if he ever married, it would be Tom. Of course, he never said it out loud, that was not Allan’s way of behaving, he thought it would be clear, that if they spend every day together, all their life, a marriage would just be… unnecessary. It’s not that he did not want to stay his whole life with Tom, he just did not want all this romantic stuff, standing in front of people who witness them swearing vows. All the sweet words were just meant for Tom’s ears and no one else.  
“Anyway….”, Tom continued, “They are pretty… picky here. They would not let me to you, since I was not a relative of yours. So I told them, we were married… That Captain Haddock married us on the open sea in a private ceremony, just us and him… And Pedro as our best man. I told them, we left the rings on the ship because we did not want to lose them in the water because we wanted to go swimming. As I went back I bought two rings and filled the Captain with enough grog to make him believe he married us… Pedro was fine with the story…” Tom lifted Allan’s and his hand showing him the rings, simple gold rings on their fingers, nothing special, “We can take them off as soon as we are home…”  
Home? What did Tom mean by home? As if such a filthy nursing place would ever become his home.  
“Don’t be ridiculous”, Tom said as if he could read Allan’s mind, tangling his fingers was the first mate’s, sure Allan could not feel it physically, but he felt it in his heart and it was soothing somehow, “I won’t let you rot in some nasty foster home… I will take you home… With me. Take care of you. My home is not big… But I think it will work out. You can’t move around too much anyway.”  
You blithering idiot, Allan wanted to shout. What was Tom thinking he was doing? Allan grimaced and shook his head. How was this supposed to work out? As the doctor said, Allan could not move anymore. Would Tom leave him at home, coming back every once in a while to feed him, as if he was a parrot. But a parrot could at least learn to speak, while Allan just could move his lips like a fish but nothing was coming out. Wildly Allan shook his head. No. Allan did not want to become a fish in a tank.  
“In good time as well as in bad times”, Tom said, lowering his gaze, “Even if we are not married officially… That was… is … what we are about. We are standing for each other, till the end of our days. In sunshine as well as in rough seas. In the home port as well as in countries so far away you cannot even imagine them. I will stand by your side.”  
Allan lowered his head, he could not protest to this words. It was them. It will always be them. From the very first day they met, till they became lovers, until now, Tom had always been there, knocking his arse out of shit the one or other time.  
“I… I… Already talked to Haddock… In a while you can leave the hospital and ship back… I will get a job in the port, near my home. Mostly administrative… filling out formulas, checking the incoming and out coming goods. Checking contracts… All this boring stuff we usually leave to that office sitter. But it’s alright. I will be near you. Partly I can even work from home. We will work this out. Like we always do.”  
Office Sitter. Tom wasn’t an office sitter. Tom belonged to the sea as well as Allan did. They were seamen, having a home nowhere but on the rough waters, the sky was their roof. No Tom could not give that up to take care for Allan. Again the first mate shook his head wildly. But Tom just gave a chuckle, grabbing over Allan’s belly, grabbing his other hand, folding both of Allan’s hand on his chest, Tom placing his hands above them. “Ha. It’s just half exciting when you cannot yell at me”, Tom gave a faint smile, but Allan’s gaze shifted away to the ground, “I know… This is not what we dreamed of… But we will find another dream we can chase. Maybe I can work myself up in the port… We will have it good, you will see.”  
Just in that moment the door was pushed up, the doctor re-entering. “The blood test results are within normal limits, Congratulation, Mister Thompson, you can leave the hospital. Have you made a decision yet?”, the doctor asked looking down at their tangled hands.  
Immediately Tom stood up, covering the doctor’s sight on Allan with his figure: “Yes. Yes… We did. We think, it is the best for both of us, if I take my beloved husband home with me and care for him!” Behind him, Allan was grimacing violently, but he could not protest anyway.  
“Are you sure?”, the doctor asked confused, “You understand, what that would mean? You would need to feed him… and change his clothes… and wash him…”  
“I know”, Tom said determined, “But this man… I love him more than anything else on this planet and over all the seven seas, I cannot rest my head on a pillow and close my eyes, knowing I would not awake next to him. I could not sail over the endless waters we called ours, knowing his eyes would not see, what my eyes see. Where he is, I am. I gave this man a promise, and this promise says, that I will be on his side. No matter what!”

 

Allan stopped grimacing, even if he knew, Tom was a little pathetic and over dramatic, but Allan had the same feeling, even if he could not express it that way and if Tom wanted to care for him, Allan should allow it.  
Politely the doctor took a step to the side to have a view on Allan and Tom could not stop him. “So Mister Thompson… Are you fine with this decision too?”, the doctor asked.  
Tom spun around to Allan, staring at him blankly, his mouth dropped open, but Allan just nodded softly his eyes meeting Tom’s. There it was again, the deep wordless understanding. A look that could not express deeper trust. The same look they exchanged before their first kiss. It was a late night, the rest of the crew was sleeping or drunk or both, just Allan and Tom were sitting at a table, a glass of rum in their hands, only a tiny lightbulb shaking around with the waves was giving the room a faint yellow light. They hadn’t talked for a while. Time and time again, Allan starred at Tom, until their gazes met with the same expression as now. They leaned in and kissed and it was beautiful. Afterwards they leaned back, getting back to starring into the faint light without saying a word, but they knew, now they were more than shipmates.  
“Well Ok… If it’s your both decision”, The doctor said shrugging placing the clipboard back to Allan’s bed, “then you can leave now….. But remember, nothing will be the way it was before.”  
No, nothing. But they still were together. They still could go their way together.


	3. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now as they are home, Allan has to cope with the new situation, but doubts start to grow in him as he is forced to wear diapers and be washed like a baby.

Chapter Three:

“Welcome home, Allan”, Tom smiled, pushing the wheelchair with Allan in it over the joist, “It’s not a palace… But yeah… It will be just fine for us two.” And indeed, the house, a one story home, immediately behind the front door there was a living room, with a dinner table, a few chairs, a couch and an old TV, just a few pictures were hanging on the wall, mostly of a dog and some candleholder on a shelf were pretty dusty. From the leaving room three doors were leading to the other rooms.

“This one leads to the kitchen with the storage room…And there is the bathroom…”, Tom explained gesturing towards the door the most far away, “And this… this is my bedroom… I mean, your bedroom by now… I will sleep on the couch because the bed is really small and I know you like your space while sleeping. Right behind the bedroom there is an additional bathroom… It is not disabled-friendly… yet… But I will fix that, if I have enough money. And I’ll get a bigger more comfortable bed for you, ok?”

Tom was so caring and loveable. Allan thought whether all this times where he yelled at him, choked him or punched him were really necessary. All the times, where he could have said something nice or at least said nothing, but he insulted him. Why was Tom even with him? Tom just could have said, he was just a mate on the ship and found Allan and then leave him behind or – if he was nice enough – in a foster home. But Tom loved him, and loved him dearly. Often Allan remembered the speeches he held, about how eternal love did not exist, but now he realised it was not important, whether love was eternal or forever. It mattered what was in the now and then. Everything could be gone in a blink of an eye, he could have died in the water, but he was here and he had this wonderful man caring for him.

Tom pushed Allan further into the room, so Allan could see it better. “I hope you like it…”, Tom smiled stepping in front of Allan, kneeling down. “And now… Where we are finally here”, Tom carefully lifted Allan’s hand, brushing his thumb over the ring on his finger, “I can finally take these off you… As I promised.” Tom was just about to pull off the ring, as Allan shook his head so violently his whole body vibrated, causing Tom to look up again so their eyes met. Allan was staring down at him pretty determined, no just slowly shaking his head.

“You don’t want me to take it off?”, Tom asked confused, Allan nodded. No, he did not want to take it off. After everything Tom did, after everything Tom will do, it was only fair if they no and officially stood by the other one’s side forever and for anyone to see. Allan’s way to show that they belong together, was to push out his cigarettes on Tom and mark him that way. A thing he now could not do anymore. Smoking. Oh god. Could he even smoke now? And how? At least he could barely take out his moods on Tom now.

“Well… Ok… Whatever you please… You smug bastard”, Tom grinned playfully, “A very… special way to get around a romantic wedding ceremony…. Anyway… The travel was long, I guess it’s best if we shower you first, get you some cosy things on and then I will get some food… How does this sound to you?”

Awkward. It sounded more than awkward.

Tom undressing him, but not in a sexual way, just to wash him as if he was a helpless baby. He was more worthless than a helpless baby. Babies could evolve and come to a use.

Tom pushed Allan to through the bedroom, to the bathroom behind it. Just a small room, with a shower in the edge, now tube, just a shower head surrounded by three stone walls with white and black tiles and a drain on the floor, the open side could be closed with a shower curtain. Tom had one with blue and white stripes. On the other side there was a toilet and a sink with a mirror above, the mirror was missing one edge and on the sink a razor was placed. No decorations, no flowers, just a small window above the toilet. Tom wasn’t here pretty often, of course not. As well as Allan they were on the sea most of the times.

 

“Let’s see”, Tom sighed, wrapping his arms around Allan, grabbing him tight under his arms. Allan was heavier than Tom was, so it was difficult for Tom to lift him out of the wheelchair, he even nearly fell over, while trying to place Allan in the shower carefully. After some struggle, Allan finally sat in the edge of the shower, leaning against the wall. Tom kneeled above Allan. Firstly he took off Allan’s hat and placed it on the wheelchair, then, he slowly unbuttoned Allan’s shirt. “It’s funny… usually you are the one undressing me… And it tends to be a lot faster….”, Tom smiled, while folding the shirt and placing it on the wheelchair, too. Now it was time to take off the shoes and the socks. Just a little red point, a tiny red point on the sole of his foot caused all this, Tom brushed his thumb over it, before he guided his hands up to undress Allan further. The trousers. And finally, the underwear, exposing Allan’s crotch. Tom sighed, he tried not to look down. It was inappropriate. Carefully he folded both of the things, before they landed on the wheelchair.

For a short moment Tom stood up to get the shower head down, turning it on. He tested the water on his hand whether it was not too hot or too cold, before he moved the shower over Allan. In slow circles he moved it, keeping eye contact with Allan. Over his chest and over his belly, over his legs and over his arms, the water was flowing down on Allan’s body, spill on the floor and on Tom.

 

Tom, you are getting wet, Tom, your clothes. They are all wet. You blithering idiot. No, no, wait. You aren’t an idiot. Allan could look into Tom’s eyes all the time, in his so very cute eyes. If he hadn’t that oddly shaped nose and the scar across his cheek, Allan would never have thought that Tom ever could be a seamen, the way he smiled at him, so innocent and naïve, with his big puppy dog eyes. Sure, Allan knew, Tom could look all grumpy and dangerous if he needed to, but Allan could not imagine him otherwise than with this wonderful bright smile and that big puppy eyes. He looked so happy, even now, even if the man he loved became nothing more than a breathing doll. How could he be so happy? How could he look at that miserable wreck Allan became and smile, no grin that much.

 

Silently took a sponge and some shower gel, squeezing the sponge until it started foaming. Gently he rubbed it over Allan’s body, lifting his arms, making sure he reached every spot. While he made sure that Allan got clean everywhere, Tom hummed sailor songs softly, bobbing his head in the rhythm of the song and even Allan started moving his head a little, pretending to hum.

He couldn’t hum, but Tom saw that he tried and it made him tremendously happy. Allan and him singing and humming together, drinking the one or other grog, like in the good ol’ times. Tom hummed louder and louder while Allan’s chest was vanishing under loads of white foam, until he actually started singing: “Row, row, row ya boat… Gently down the stream… Merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream!” And in his head Allan sang with him, as loud as he could. He even started a canon in his head as Tom started singing again, sure not a word came out, but he was sure Tom would feel it.

Eventually Tom started washing Allan’s hair, using a lot of foam. “Look here…”, Tom giggled while forming two foam horns on Allan’s head, “Now you are the devil…. And noooow… You are Elvis Presley!” Tom burst into laughter while he continued shampooing Allan’s hair. That was so childish, Tom should be lucky that Allan couldn’t move to slap him for this behaviour, but in that moment Allan caught himself amused, his eyes shining while he watched his lover kneeling in front of him, styling his hair. After a while Tom took the showerhead again and started washing all the foam off.

Tom’s gaze got a little sadder, he sighed: “Uh…. Allan… The doctors…. Suggested me…. To put you into…. A nappy….” Allan grimaced wildly in protest, shaking his head, clenching his teeth. Tom couldn’t hear it, but he knew Allan was cursing and swearing. “I know…. I know… it’s embarrassing… But at the moment you cannot tell me when you have to go to the restroom… And yeah… A nappy isn’t as awkward and inconvenient as changing the sheets at least every day… And don’t you worry, I’ll check on you as often as I can, so you are not getting bedsore”, Tom explained, nearly all the foam was gone now, “I will work on a solution… Maybe a button you can press with tilting your head… or a string to a bell you can pull with your teeth. I don’t know yet, but I will find something. I promise!”

 

A diaper! Bloody hell! If one opened the dictionary at the word unerotic, the explanation ‘adult male with diapers on’ would pop up. No. That was bad. Really bad. Now Tom had to change Allan’s diaper, literally dealing with his shit, cleaning him and wrapping him in again. Allan curled his lips, whereas he usually got angry or furious or whatever, he now was just depressed. He never understood how a man, handsome as Tom, could fall for someone like Allan, wrinkles and folds over his face, pale and dull from smoking and drinking. Not even in a good shape he was, but he accepted that Tom seems to see something in Allan, that he did not see at all. But now? Everything was more attractive than a sick disabled man in a diaper. Sure Tom would care for Allan at first, maybe because he felt responsible for him, but maybe at work or while shopping he would meet other people, laugh with them, enjoying hearing their voice, listening their stories. Coming home to someone who couldn’t talk or walk or do any bloody thing would make Tom depressive and then one lass or lad would come around cheering him up and Tom would fall for them and Allan… He couldn’t even be angry, he couldn’t even be sad. Tom was doing his very best for him and it was his damn right to be with someone to make him happy. Allan obsessed over that so much, he wanted to yell at Tom, tell him to just go away if he was happier with someone else that Allan wouldn’t even bother, even if it was a lie. Even if it was the worst what could happen. Allan bit down his lip and sucked the inside of his cheek. How could Tom be so cruel? How could he just go on? Damn you, Tom, Damn you!

Suddenly Allan felt something, it wasn’t water, it was something else, it were Tom’s lips on Allan’s, softly pressing against each other. While Allan totally lost himself in things that never would happen, Tom already placed the shower head away and wrapped Allan into a towel drying him. Unbelievable, just a few seconds ago (or were it minutes?) he was talking about diapers and now they were kissing. Tom didn’t seemed to be bothered by the nappy thing as much as Allan was, he just could switch back to romantic lovers. Oh, how much Allan missed Tom’s soft lips on his, they always tasted like the sea. Salty and wild. Never Allan said Tom, what a brilliant kisser he was and now he never could again. He should have said it, he should have said how much he enjoyed every moment with him. It was self-evidently if they kissed and kept kissing, that it was good, Allan thought, that he hadn’t to praise, things he did for Tom’s good anyway. But in that situation Allan felt as if he should have. He still could lean in the kisses eagerly, holding his breath for as long as he could so he didn’t had to break the chain of kisses. For a mere second Allan feared that Tom would probably never touch him again, seeing him so broken and helpless. He was so stupid, so unbelievable stupid. All his doubt vanished in the second Tom’s lips touched Allan’s. The whole world could give up on him, but this man wouldn’t.

“It’s getting cold… isn’t it? Can you feel it?”, Tom asked and Allan nodded slowly, he couldn’t move his limbs, but sometimes he felt heat and cold or pain. Maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him, maybe a few nerves weren’t damaged by the poison, Allan didn’t knew it. “Alright”, Tom said, grabbing under Allan’s arms again to lift him on the wheelchair, curled up in the towel. “In the bedroom I’ll dress you in some cosy things and tug you in, ok?”, Tom smiled as he finally managed to place Allan down in the wheelchair and push him back into the bedroom. “You will feel like being wrapped into clouds, I promise… I saved a lot of money with the rest of the furniture, but not on the bed… I thought if I spend the days on rough seas I could reward myself with an extra comfortable bed when I come home…. Now it has even a better purpose. It’s for you”, Tom smiled as he placed Allan on the bed and dressed him into a diaper and a comfortable jumpsuit and pulled the blankets over.

“There we go”, Tom whispered pressing a kiss on Allan’s forehead before he walked over to the door, “I’ll prepare dinner… I hope you like my cooking skills, but I guess…. You can’t complain!” Tom laughed a little, but it was a dry laugh, he knew Allan never had been the guy for bad puns, so Tom just added: “I love you, Allan…”

 

I love you too, Tom, I love you too.


	4. A Summer in Amsterdam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom cares for Allan tenderly, trying to bring back old memories like their weekend in Amsterdam, to distract him from the situation they are in, but soon Tom has to go to his new job. A boring Office Job in the port.

Chapter Four:

 

“Good morning, Allan”, Tom pushed the door to the bedroom open, holding a tablet on his arms, already fully dressed, “Have you slept well?”

Allan hadn’t, of course not. He did nothing all day, how was he supposed to be tired? And then these nasty thoughts in his head, about his future, about their future, about Tom. Horrible thoughts, nasty thoughts. They started as a little whisper Allan could easily put to silence, but the more and more he thought about them, the louder the whispers became, becoming nagging voices, until they were finally screams. Where was Tom? Why didn’t he want to sleep in Allan’s bed with him? Ok, ok. Allan admits, sometimes he shut Tom out, claiming he needed his space and maybe Tom just didn’t want to be selfish and take advantage of the situation, that Allan couldn’t shut him out this time. But maybe he just wanted to sleep next to a man, who probably peed into his pants overnight or worse. Maybe Allan had to get used to the distance Tom was growing, so his heart won’t shatter if one day he wasn’t there at all. Tom, just tell it isn’t like that. But over the hours of night the responsible voices, telling him that Tom was by his said and would ever be, were swallowed by the loud screams, that Allan is a wreck not worth living.

 

Allan looked up to Tom and nodded softly. “Super… I made you breakfast… The doctors gave me a lot of books about your condition… I started reading them…”, Tom sat down at the edge of the bed, “You shouldn’t eat too much carbs since you can’t move around that much anymore. So yeah, I made you matie with onion rings for breakfast… You know... matie, young herring. Our trip to Amsterdam… All the tulips!” Allan nodded, it was beautiful, indeed. The _Karaboudjan_ was supposed to load cheese and take it back to the new world, but Allan and Tom had had other goals, they were loading every free space with weed. Drug smuggle. That was, why Allan and Tom where with Haddock in first place, knocking the idiot out with some booze and they could mind their own business. But Tom begged long enough so they took a walk through the tulips, red and violet and yellow and orange, wherever your gaze went, there the wonderful flowers were.

 

Allan had joked, that if Tom was a lass, he’d pick up the most beautiful of these flowers and place it into Tom’s hair and talk some sappy shit, like that the flowers turn pallid in his presence envying his beauty and they both burst into laughter, but then Tom’s face turned all determined and he asked ‘Why don’t you just do it?’ and Allan couldn’t help but laugh more, chuckling ‘As the lass wishes’ and picked up the biggest flower he could find, picked it up and… slapped it across Tom’s face, but before Tom could complain about Allan being rude, the first mate tugged the flower behind Tom’s ear and sealed his lips with a kiss. Their summer in Amsterdam. It was barely a weekend, but it was a beautiful memory. The Dutch people had so many crazy food things, a pudding that became more liquid in your mouth, they called it Vla… and of course endless kinds of cheese. Some of them where even coloured. Red or green. While Tom was testing all of the cheeses, Allan refused to take something in his mouth that looked as if it was rotten. But then they came across a snack bar selling matie with onions. That was more Allan’s kind of food, fat, salty fish with onions.

 

Tom cut the fish into tiny bits, paying attention he removed all the fish bones. Each piece he picked up with the fork, placing an onion ring on it, before he lifted it to Allan’s mouth, who opened it and took the fork in. In Amsterdam they also fed each other with the fish, as a romantic gesture. It was childish and absurd. Who would feed his lover with fish, but Tom started like ‘My fish is really great… You should taste it’ Nonsense. It was the same fish as Allan had, but Tom stayed stubborn until Allan finally took a piece of Tom’s fish and the bait. ‘Not as great as mine’, Allan had replied with a grin on his face, picking up a bit of his fish, offering it to Tom. And before he knew what was happening they were feeding each other on a snack bar at the shores of Amsterdam.

“The fish tastes great, right? Does it taste like our trip to Amsterdam? I was on the market this morning… it came freshly from the Netherlands… Do you remember how you thought Matie and Herring were two different kind of fish”, Tom chuckled, his gaze shifting away in thoughts, “We even argued about it. It was a massive fight… Until you took a matie filet and a herring and slapped me with both of them, yelling ‘Do they feel different to you? I think they feel different. What do you say?’ And as I brought up an article with an explanation, you just shrugged, eating both of the filets without sharing… Apologising was never yours, right?”

Allan cocked his eyebrows guiltily, than shaking his head until he had Tom’s attention, until their gazes caught. Allan’s gaze wandered from the fork, to the fish down to his lips and then back to Tom. “Do you want more?”, Tom wondered confused, but his lover shook his head, now looking just at the fish and to Tom, then on the fork and his own lips a few times. “Ah… I think I got it”, Tom smiled, picking some fish on the fork, turning it so the helve was pointing at Allan and he could take it with his mouth. The spikes with the fish on it now were pointing at Tom, and he bowed down carefully to eat the fish of the fork, softly-softly, so he wouldn’t slam the end of the fork against Allan’s teeth. Their gazes stayed locked as Tom was chewing and swallowing the piece of fish. “Like in Amsterdam?”, Tom asked with a smile as bright as it could be. Yes. Like in Amsterdam. Allan nodded with the fork still in his mouth, now he was the one smiling innocently. Tom picked another piece of fish, eating it off again, before he took the fork out of Allan’s mouth again and continued feeding him. It’s easy to be romantic, if you have all the options. No, Allan never thought it was romantic when it was easy. For him romance should be something, you had to work for, something that is hard to get. Throwing rose patterns on a bed wasn’t romantic, you could get rose on every edge. But feeding your lover even though you are disabled, that was true romance.

 

“Ok… Breakfast is over… Let’s switch to morning hygiene”, Tom said, picking up the tablet vanishing outside. Oh Tom, have you even an idea, how happy you make Allan? No, you haven’t. But Allan couldn’t be happier in that moment. Honestly, as he woke in the hospital finding himself paralysed like that he just wanted to die, he just wanted to close his eyes forever. He even anted to beg Tom to just kill him.

He recounted all of his plates, but he didn’t found a reason to keep on living. Not like that, but as Tom smiled at him, like he always did, Allan knew that he couldn’t ask this man to kill him. He couldn’t burden him with that. He had to keep on living just for Tom. Tom was his world now, if he ever hadn’t been.

 

Again Tom pushed the door open, now holding a bowl, a glass, a towel and a toothbrush. Firstly he placed the bowl and the other tools on the ground to lift Allan to a sitting position in the bed and then pick up the bowl, which was filled with water, on Allan’s belly and the towel on his chest. He filled the glass with some water out of the bowl and placed it on the counter. Out of his pocket Tom got a toothpaste tube and placed some of the toothpaste on the toothbrush and wetted it in the water.

“Open your mouth”, Tom ordered with a smile and Allan did, so Tom could brush his lovers teeth, patiently, neatly, so he reached every spot, two minutes the upper tooth row, two minutes the lower tooth row, before he took the brush out, “…. Spit out…” And Allan obeyed, shortly after Tom offered Allan a sip out of the glass to rinse of the foam. Lastly Tom dried Allan’s mouth with the towel, just pressing it against Allan’s lips softly, before he removed the towel and bent down to place a kiss on Allan’s lips, short but loveable. As Tom leaned back, Allan started moving his lips like a fish, requiring more kisses. Immediately Tom bowed down for more kisses and whenever Tom was about to lean back, Allan made the fishy lips again and Tom replied with kisses again, until he finally leaned back and didn’t return to Allan’s lips, causing the disabled man to pout.

 

“Don’t give me that face”, Tom laughed, rubbing his thumb over Allan’s cheeks, “I have to go to work soon… And I still need to get you ready for the day…. Luckily it’s a nine-to-five-job, so I’ll be home before the sun sets so I can shower you in my love… and probably in water the whole evening.”

Allan’s gaze turned sad, not because Tom stopped the kisses, but because he realised that now Tom had to work for both of them, in a job he did not like. Once they were standing on the railing, looking at these pen-pushers rushing over the port, sending around people, checking on goods and Tom and Allan laughed about them. What a miserable life they would have, sending out all these goods into different worlds, without ever seeing the beauty of an endless sea, without feeling the strength of waves crushing against the bow of the ship. Never facing death, eyeing Davy Jones himself, when the merciless sea was trying to swallow the ship and the whole crew alive.

No, all they knew about all the wonders waiting outside, all the other ports, where the goods coming back. But now box filled with whatever couldn’t cope with the actual scent of the bazaars around the ports, and stories filled with bloomy details that never happened, just because seamen felt like it or pictures. They were part of the game, but they were just the referee. Oh, how many times Allan and Tom fooled this office sitter, smuggling drugs through the port.

 

And now Tom was one of them, the turquoise pullover made place for a neat shirt in white with a blue tie. Tom just didn’t look like Tom, he looked absurd. As if he was just wearing a costume for Halloween. And it would fit, ending up as an office sitter was always their horror.

“It’s alright”, Tom whispered, cupping Allan’s cheeks with his warm hands, obviously he had noticed Allan’s sad face, “I don’t hate these office people as much as you do… And we really need the money. I could imagine worse things. We are lucky enough, I got this job near my home… and I even get more money. Maybe we can even save a little without being by bread and water. Oh and I am free on the weekends… We were never free on the weekend… We were free when we were free. Sometimes we haven’t been free for weeks. Maybe a bit of routine is just good for our life. Wouldn’t it be horrible if you just waited here not knowing when I come back? …I had a talk with the doctors outside… As you were still sleeping, they said I could keep my job, if I got you a nurse… But I couldn’t endure the thought of being called out sea, for days… weeks even… and you are here… And strangers touching you. No… I refused this. This job is my dream job, as long as it makes me stay with you.”

Allan forced a smile on his lips. It was awkward, but Tom’s words didn’t sound like lie, they sounded real, as if Tom really meant them, as if Tom really couldn’t believe there was something better than having a regular office job and Allan should support him with that.

“Alright…”, Tom said lifting the sheets, pulling down Allan’s trousers, checking on the diapers, “Seems good so far… Seems like you had a dry night…” Tom pulled the trousers back up, tugging Allan back in. “Do you want to lie down again?”, Tom asked, Allan shook his head, “ So you want to sit the whole day?” Allan hesitated a moment and nodded then.

“Oh… Shall I drag the TV in here so you can watch some shows? Or I could pick up DVDs today?” But Allan shook his violently. He didn’t want to watch all this fake happiness or drama or whatever. This filthy romantic comedies, where you know from the beginning where everything will lead. That they will have their happily ever after. No. Allan was fed up with this shit. He was trapped in a real drama and there will not be a doctor magically appearing, claiming he found a medicine or a therapy that would heal Allan. There won’t be a dramatic shot of them how they were sailing into the sunset arm and arm, celebrating life. Allan would be tied to this bed forever. No cure. No hope.

 

“Are you sure… What will you do all day then?”, Tom frowned, tilting his head. Allan’s gaze wandered from Tom outside the window, yes, he’d watch outside the window all day. Look at the real life. Children playing and cheering. Seagulls screaming, merchants trading. That would be just fine.

“Whatever you say, Allan”, Tom smiled, standing up, placing a soft kiss on Allan’s forehead before he vanished through the door, shouting over his back: “Be good…. And don’t you run away!” Tom’s laughter vanished as the front door slammed shut. 

 


	5. S.S. Ramona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Allan's birthday, but unfortunately Tom has to work. But of course Tom would not be Tom if he did not hold a surprise for Allan in the evening.

Chapter Five:

 

Day by day, Tom stood up, made himself ready, sometimes even before six am, caring Allan. Every day he stood in the kitchen, cooking a new meal every day always decorating it lovely. One time he placed a smiley out of bacon on top of Allan’s pancake, another day the toasts were heart shaped with marmalade on top. It were the little things. Even if Tom would never knew how much Allan cheered inside, Tom did them anyway.

But after a while Tom started leaving the house earlier, way earlier and he stayed away longer, claiming the amount of orders had risen and he needed to take extra shifts to handle the amount of work, but Allan couldn’t see more ships leaving the port, nor more ships were anchoring in the port? What was Tom hiding? Was he even hiding something or was it just Allan’s paranoia? But if he was hiding something, what could he be hiding? Usually Tom told him everything, in every detail. Sometimes he even narrated the boring office stories so lively and exciting, they sounded like big adventures. Allan enjoyed listening to him, but since a few days, he saw Tom passing by the window absolutely exhausted, his shoulders hanging low, his forehead marked by deep frowns. It was a heart breaking picture, seeing Tom so sad and depressed. Did he have problems at work? What was happening? But Allan could not ask Tom, what was bothering him, even if he could, every time Tom stepped into the bedroom he wore this unbelievable cheerful and happy smile, as if he had all the happiness in the world. Why did Tom not tell Allan, what was keeping him busy? Didn’t it say, ‘In good times as well as in bad times’? Why didn’t Tom share all the things with Allan? Maybe Tom had a remorse, telling bad things around someone who obviously felt worse. Allan wanted to hear all the things, every detail, but the more exhausted Tom was, the les he talked. Earlier and earlier he left the house, no time for the decorations on the breakfast, sure the food was still well-prepared and tasty, but these little things were what kept Allan happy, what made his day. Allan didn’t have much in his life, what was he even living for, if Tom was backtracking out of his life? Maybe he was seeing someone else? And his sad face was nothing but his bad conscience nagging on him? And the cheerful way he treated Allan was just a way to cover it? Maybe they were doing all the things Allan and Tom couldn’t. Talking a walk on the beach, standing on the railing. Maybe Tom missed the sex. Yes. Probably he missed the intimacy. And he found someone else to pander this carnal lust. Was it a co-worker? Maybe a lass, he met at the port or a lad, a young strong sailor. Tom was a handsome man, an astonishingly handsome man. It would be pretty easy for him to find someone else. Oh, Allan prayed it was just something fleshy, just a relief of sexual frustration. Allan was so desperate, all he wanted was to tell Tom, that it would be fine, that there was no need of a bad conscience. Sure, it would hurt Allan if Tom was seeing someone else, but he could understand that Allan couldn’t give Tom the things he needed, but someone else could. Yes, it made him sad and furious, but even worse was seeing Tom unhappy like this. Allan just wished Tom would tell him about it, that he can be honest, that Allan would understand somehow, but this. This was doing no good to any of them.

 

 

The door was opened carefully, silently. In not even a second Tom would come in with this faked cheerful smile, pretending everything was alright when it wasn’t. Allan sighed, should he just pretend to be happy, too? Two people sharing their lives with each other, pretending to be happy, but they weren’t?

Allan looked up, trying to meet Tom’s gaze, but he couldn’t. Tom was looking away, his gaze fixed on the ground. He looked sad, no cheerful smile. “Bad news…”, he sighed. That was it. Now Tom would tell Allan that he was seeing someone else and that it was more than just carnal lust. That Allan had to leave. No. no. Don’t do this. Do not do this. Keep me here. Allan felt like, he should have treated Tom better, he shouldn’t have shown his love by pushing out cigarettes on him, buy choking him or whatever. Probably he found someone who was gentle and polite and nice, who treated him like a prince, who treated him the way he deserved. Now it was too late, time couldn’t be turned back, he couldn’t redeem. All he was, was being a bigger burden than he was before. Oh, how could Allan be so stupid? Of course, Tom would find someone else, everyone was nicer than Allan was.

“I know…. It’s your birthday tomorrow”, Tom started. His birthday? Allan had lost count of days and time. If he was lucky, he could guess the season, but an exact day, no way. “But I am drowning in work… Really… I tried everything to get a day off, but I couldn’t”, Tom explained, “But don’t you worry… I arranged something… I invited someone, but it’s a surprise!” That was it? That was why Tom was so upset? Just because he couldn’t be with Allan on a day that would be like any other to him? Invite someone? Who? Allan didn’t want to see anyone one, anyone apart Tom. No one should see him like that. “I am really sorry… But I managed that I can start later tomorrow, so I can have a nice breakfast with you… Doesn’t that sound good?”, Tom smiled pressing a kiss on Allan’s forehead, rubbing through Allan’s hair, “Good night… Sleep well!” No, Tom, don’t leave. The nights feel so lonely. Allan could barely sleep anyway, but without Tom it was even worse. And again it was Allan’s fault, Tom just didn’t want to bother Allan, because Allan always said he needed his space while sleeping. It was his own stubbornness who brought him to this situation. If he could travel time, he’d go back to slap and choke himself. Oh, how much he would scream at himself. To listen to Tom, to be more open, to take care for him, to give all the things back, but Allan couldn’t and it depressed him.

He didn’t mind that Tom wasn’t there on his birthday, he minded every day Tom was away, every second, what was the one or other day about? There was nothing to celebrate on this day, nothing at all. He could as well just stay alone, but no Tom had to invite someone. He meant well. He just meant well. He didn’t want Allan to be alone on that day. Then Allan should do his part and sleep to look fresh and relaxed when the guests would come. Maybe he would even try to smile tomorrow, just for Tom.

 

 

 

 

 

“Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, my loveable Allan, Happy Birthday to you!”, Tom entered the bedroom singing, holding a cake topped with all glowing sparklers and a candle burning in the middle, walking over to Allan, sitting down as always. He was smiling, he was smiling because he wanted Allan to smile and he did. “Blow out the candle and make a wish”, Tom smiled holding the cake in front of Allan’s lips. If Allan could still talk and walk, he would yell at Tom that all this sappy wishing stuff was for children, that never a wish would come true, but this time Allan had so many wishes, he could at least try, he blew the candle out, thinking ‘Please, let us stay forever together’. Tom clapped his hands grinning: “Congratulations…. What did you wish for… No… No… Don’t tell me or the wish won’t come true!” Allan smiled softly while Tom sliced the cake and placed little bits into Allan’s mouth, waiting for him to chew and swallow. “I baked it myself… A chocolate cake”, Tom tilted his head and gave a little squeak as Allan shook his head. There they were again, eating lovely decorated meals together, and actually Allan felt a little happier. If Tom really had to work as much as he was claiming, then starting later and take the time to bake and eat the cake with Allan, then this was more than Allan could expect. Again was Tom giving so much more than he had to. Oh Tom, my scared angel.

 

“Your guests will be coming soon, let me get you ready before I need to go to work…”, Tom smiled jumping of the bed. Out of the closet he got Allan’s old things, the blue jeans, the white shirt and the beige trench coat. “You guest should see you the way the saw you the last”, Tom explained while he dressed Allan carefully and finally lifted him into the wheelchair, “I am pretty sure you don’t want to welcome your guests in your bed, right?” Tom pushed Allan into the living room, crouching down next to Allan, locking his gaze with Allan’s. “Remember Allan… They mean well… So be nice, ok?”, Tom starred at Allan until he finally nodded. How could Allan even be mean? And if Tom feared Allan being mean, why did he even invite people over?

A knocking on the door. Tom immediately jumped to the door, opening it. Tintin and Captain Archibald Haddock entered, followed by Snowy, who was jumping around their legs excited. “Hello Captain, Hello Tintin! I’m glad you could arrange it!”, Tom said happily, gesturing them to come in.

“Ahoi Tom!”, the Captain said, looking over Tom’s shoulder, “Whar be th' birthday child?” Tintin shook Tom’s hand, smiling: “Haven’t seen you in a while.” – “Yeah… My job keeps me busy… You know!”, Tom smiled politely. Them? Really? Why them? They weren’t friends actually, but on the other hand Allan didn’t have many people to call friend. Tintin was a nice person and with Haddock he had at least worked many years together. Well, fair enough, Tom could have invited worse people.

The captain walked over to Allan, placing a hand on Allan’s shoulder: “So? barnacle-covered sea monster? How be ye doin'?” Allan nodded shortly, and Snowy jumped on his lap, licking over his face. “Oh, spy wit' ye eye! th' puppy has missed ye face!”, Haddock laughed, but immediately Tintin ran over, picking up Snowy from Allan’s lap. “Oh… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”, Tintin petted the dog placing him on the ground, and Snowy jumped around their feet again.

"What if we take 'tis young jim laddie out fer a swim on th' beach promenade!", Haddock suggested. “What a lovely idea”, Tom smiled, “I was working so much the past weeks, I did not have time to go out with him!” “Ok then… Let’s go”, Tintin smiled, “So Tom can go to work!” Tom nodded opening the door for Haddock and Tintin with Allan.

“Have fun!”, Tom shouted before he slammed the door shut. Fun? How were they supposed to have fun like that? Well, Allan would survive the day somehow, by dreaming away or something.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and just a few little clouds hanging on the sky. It wasn’t too hot because a light breeze was blowing. Seagulls were screaming in the sky searching for fish. Even if Allan would never admit it, it was good to be outside again, smelling the salty air mixed with the sand of seaweed. The sun tickling his nose.

“The Captain and I moved together too”, Tintin explained, lowering his head a little before he added with a smirk, “Just like Tom and you… in the same way!”

“Aye! And I am on the wagon since a few month now. Haven't touched a bottle. Not even a little drop!”, Haddock smiled, “I made a promise 'n I keep it!”

“Not the only promise we made”, Tintin stretched his hand in front of Allan’s eyes, a little silver ring was shining on Tintin’s finger and Snowy jumped up and down next to him excitedly. An engagement ring? They were dating!? They were gay…. too? Not that Allan would mind, it was their business, but yet it was surprising. “It’s not super official…”, Tintin explained.

"We ain't rushin'. We want to take the hour...", Haddock smiled, “Plannin' a big weddin' wit' our buckos from th' adventures we had!”

Sappy shit, Allan thought, but somehow also cute. They just wanted to make the promise to stay forever together without rushing. He wondered how Archibald did it, how he proposed to Tintin. Whether he just asked with that silver ring in his fingers or whether he planned a big romantic gesture.

While Haddock was pushing the wheelchair, Tintin was causually throwing a ball for Tintin, while they were walking down the street.

“I never expected ye 'n Tom to be lovers... th' first matey 'n his best scurvy dog. Like th' sea version 'o a romantic comedy. Just that ye be...”, Haddock started, but after a stern gaze of Tintin he went silent. Just that it wasn’t a comedy, it was a tragedy. Allan was tied to his bed and two people he couldn’t even call friends taking him out for a stroll was his big adventure.

“What the Captain wanted to say…”, Tintin explained, “We are really happy for you. Sometimes when we are here, we visit Tom in the office, talking about the good old times!”

“He be workin' like a bull... Day in day out... he dont even take a break... He be a jolly laddie. ye're lucky”, Haddock smiled. Oh yes, Allan was, he knew it. And if Haddock and Tintin visited Tom regularly he could push the thought off, that Tom was seeing someone else.

So the stroll turned out to be pretty enjoyable, this little piece of information that probably didn’t seem that important to Haddock and Tintin, made Allan really happy. It was a good idea to bring Tintin and Haddock over. The sun was already setting as Tintin said: “We should go back, I bet Tom is already home.” That would be the best of that day, seeing Tom again, seeing his lover again. A very good day.

The door was open, as Tintin pushed against it and Tom was already standing in the middle of the living room. Not in his office clothing. In a brand new sailor suit. He looked so handsome. Did Tom dress up for Allan? Of course he did. He did all the things for Allan.

“Welcome back home”, Tom smiled brightly, his arms crossed on his back, “Did you have a nice day? Are you ready for your present?” Present? What present? Wasn’t Tom starting work late to eat cake with Allan present enough? “Do you remember our dream?”, Tom tilted his head lightly. Allan’s gaze wandered outside the window to the ships and nodded. Yes, yes, he did. Their own ship. Their own adventures. How Allan could forget about it? Even if he wanted, because he knew that dream was never coming true, he couldn’t. Somehow he was stuck to it.

“Then follow me! …. And close your eyes”, Tom grinned, going over to the bedroom and Haddock pushed Allan in as he finally closed his eyes. It smelled weirdly. Tangy somehow. What was waiting for him there?

“Open your eyes!”, Tom ordered.

Allan opened them, blinking around. No, he wasn’t in the bedroom. He was in a different world. The walls were painted like the sky, with a few clouds and seagulls and on one wall on the horizon even a shore was visible. The ground now looked like water with the surf of the waves, it was soft rug. And in the middle of that room a big king-size bed was standing in the design of a ship, a real ship, with bull eyes on its side and a life ring, a railing that was removable. And on the bow in golden letters was written “S. S. Ramona”. Allan couldn’t breathe for a moment. It was unbearable astonishing. He didn’t want to, but he had to, he just burst into tears. Tears of joy. They were running down his cheek uncontrolled, hotly, and they wouldn’t stop. More and more tears came out of his eyes, wetting his shirt. Oh Tom. This is so beautiful. Even if Allan could speak, he didn’t have words for it. Allan was smiling all over his face, still tears running down, until Tom knelt down next to Allan, wiping away his tears. “That is the reason, I was working so much, to gain money for that special construction… It was hard to find someone who would build me a special build bed… And then I added the details and painted it…”

Oh Tom, beautiful, innocent, Tom. As if he had seen right into Allan’s heart. He wanted to kiss and hug Tom forever and never let him go. “I’m glad you like it”, Tom said placing a kiss on Allan’s forehead and Allan nodded eagerly with a smile on his face.

"But one thin' be missin'!", The captain suddenly said stepping in front of Allan with his hands crossed behind his back and Tintin followed nodding: “Indedd!”

From behind his back Haddock pulled a captain’s hat and placed it on Allan’s head with a nod and Allan returned the nod with a smile. Even they had a birthday present for him.

“Ahoi, Captain Thompson!”, Haddock, Tintin and Tom said in a choir and Tintin pulled out a bottle of champagne behind his back, showing it to Allan.

“For the sake of the beautiful carpeted floor we will spare christening the ship by shattering the bottle against it. But I am pretty sure you and Tom have another use for it”, Tintin smiled, handing the bottle to Tom, “Oh… Look on the time… I guess you want to have the rest of the birthday for yourselves. Captain… Snowy… Come here!”

“Yes, yes… thank you for coming over… Good bye!”, Tom smiled friendly leading the guys out before he returned to Allan, kneeling down next to Allan, removing his usual hat, replacing it with Allan’s former first mate hat.

“And I will be your first mate, your best friend and your lover”, Tom smiled leaning his head against Allan’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, “And this ship we can sail together forever…”

 

Yes. Together. Forever.


End file.
